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[personal profile] stackingfire
I have learned a little about myself and poly in the last few months. Of course, in being with [ profile] isarma, I have had many poly experiences, whether through her, or on my own. I have been dating [ profile] dv8dgrrl for over a year now, with great success as well. I have had an experience lately that has definitely taught me a couple of other things about poly and considerations about the lifestyle.

I recently attempted to get involved in a situation, relationship? I'm not sure of the right word, but it was greatly disappointing. It was a situation where we both had enormous chemistry, but our orbits just never drifted close enough. We'd admitted to it, had kissed on occasion, but nothing other than that and a few short conversations. Things finally did drift close enough, and we had a date. One of the things discussed was our other relationships. She has other relationships as well, and we talked about rights and rules and freedoms. I am quite grateful that [ profile] isarma and I respect each other's decisions about potential partners, and there is no veto power, no 'no list'. Unfortunately, I was reminded that other people, other couples, other houses often don't see things as we do. We talked about how I was currently on a 'no list', but that this was something she felt important to pursue. I felt that it was best for her to talk to the other(s) involved in her relationship about her intentions before we went out again, so everyone could make an informed choice about what she and they wanted to do. She agreed, and we parted ways. I then heard from her few days later about getting together again, and I asked her about is she had the talk. She hadn't, and I reiterated to her about talking to her other partners. In the 2 months since, I haven't heard from her.

There is more behind this story, such as why I was on the 'no list' in the first place, or influences on her decision to not have the talk, or to not contact me again. None of this is based in talking to me, and that hurts. It is also disappointing and hurthful of the level of disrespect about this. I will admit, on the other hand, that I thought this situation a long shot, so I did put myself into this situation by choice, knowing that it might blow up on me. Still, it has hurt, and it has been on my mind. I considered stuffing this, but this past weekend has has several things that hit me on the head for even more reminders.
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